


Conversations And Nothing Else

by warriorofthewind_Libra928



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: ASGARD!, Actually Has a Plot, Asylums, BAMF!Darcy Lewis, BAMF!Jane Foster, Clint hangs out in any air vents, Darcy Lewis is Tony Stark's Daughter, Darcy Lewis-centric, Darcy Stark, F/M, HCCM52, Hacker! Darcy Lewis, Hulk is adorable, I suck at tags, Jarvis is a little pervy, Lilo&Stitch - Freeform, M/M, Pepper Potts is the best mother, Slow Build, Steve's hands are the best, Tasers, They all need hugs, Thor's ample butt, Tony doesn't agree, Tony is protective, all lines, but no not really, but there will be more as more chapters adds on, flip flops, hulkylicious, i am destroying everything, it's just a bunch of conversations, like seriously slower than my internet connection, pink coffins, raining dolphins, sorrynotsorry, you gotta imagine the scenes on your own
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-07-16 15:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 6,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7273009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warriorofthewind_Libra928/pseuds/warriorofthewind_Libra928
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy Lewis and co.'s day-to-day conversations</p><p>seriously though, it's all convos and nothing else ( except for a few 'noise' e.g. *sighs* & *slap noise*)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Conversation #1

**Author's Note:**

> I am already asking for forgiveness for the mess I am about to create.  
> I swear to you guys, this all happened because classes are starting meaning stress and shit loads of work.
> 
> And I also apologize in advance for the crapyness of this work, nonetheless I hope you all will enjoy :)  
> toodles

“Janey you’re soooo lucky”

 

“Huh? What are you talking about Darce?”

 

“I mean gods, just look at Thor!! He’s so ughhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm..”

 

“uh…”

 

“And look at that wonderful biceps Jane!!”

 

“…”

 

“The way his muscles flex”

 

“Darce…”

 

“And then that very tempting ass of his, just so yum.”

 

“hmmm…”

 

“And then when he looks at you he just glows and smiles that… that… Oh I don’t know!! You Jane Foster are lucky to have a man like that!!”

 

“I know”

 

“Gods, I hate you sometimes”

 

“You know you love me”

 

“No, I love Thor’s ample butt.”

 

“Darcyyy”

 

“Jane, no. Just no. I hate you right now.”

 

“…”

 

“Fine, I love you.”

 

“I know”

 

“I hate you.”

 

“maybe you’ll find a man like that someday”

 

“I don’t think so Thor’s only one in a million.”

 

“True”

 

“Maybe I should start doing Science! as well.”

 

“Darce, no.”

 

“Jane, yes.”

 

“You’re going to meet a man one day Darce that will make you think he’s much better than Thor”

 

“hmm… I don’t think so, Thor’s my number one man in the world.”

 

“Sometimes I think that you’re just here to ogle at my man”

 

“Duh. What else am I here for?”

 

“*sighs* just give me some pop tarts”

 

“okie dokie Boss Lady”


	2. Conversation #2

“Jane I’m feeling creeped out right now”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Jane, someone’s keeping an eye on us”

 

“WHAT?”

 

“Shh, don’t react or they’ll know that we know”

 

“I don’t understand”

 

“exactly”

 

“Darce, are you high on caffeine… again?”

 

“Am not!”

 

“…”

 

“Okay fine! Maybe just a little, but I’m telling you there are some jack booted thugs eyeing us”

 

“jack booted thugs?”

 

“those guys who stole your stuff”

 

“Where are they!!??”

 

“Well more like where is he”

 

“huh?”

 

“there’s only one”

 

“How’d you know?”

 

“His head is hanging out from the air vents”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“YOU!!! GET OUT!!!”

 

“Oh my gods Jane!! You can’t just throw your flip flops at someone!”

 

“If it’ll keep him away then I will.”

 

“and when he’ll plan a revenge?”

 

“I’ve got you to make my burial fabulous”

 

“What if he kills me first?”

 

“Then I’d make your burial fabulous”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“I want a pink coffin”

 

“agreed”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably going to update 5 for today, I don't know what will happen tomorrow though.


	3. Conversation #3

“Jane we’re in Norway”

 

“Ugh tell me something I don’t know Darce”

 

“Thor’s back in New York”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“WHAT!!!???”

 

“He’s with a bunch of people fighting someone with a crazy fashion sense”

 

“wait wait wait wait Thor's back!!?? How is that even- I haven't- this- I've been played”

 

“Apparently”

 

“Is that why they suddenly transferred us to Norway?”

 

“Think so”

 

“I’m going to kill them”

 

“If they won’t get killed first”

 

“…”

 

“Jane?”

 

“How’d you know?”

 

“…”

 

“Darcy Lewis”

 

“I might or might not have hacked into those jack booted thug’s agency to know what the fuck’s happening”

 

“...”

 

“WHAT!!? It’s not like it’s illegal!”

 

“DARCY IT IS ILLEGAL!!”

 

“WHAT!?”

 

“Ugh, just, tell me is Thor doing fine?”

 

“He is. Wait I’ll try to get a vid from them”

 

“…”

 

“what you don’t want to look!?”

 

“I don’t want to go to jail”

 

“Puhlease you’ve already ran a man over with a car before”

 

“I only grazed him Darce! And he’s Thor! That was one time only!”

 

“And this too!”

 

“...”

 

“okay fine this might not be a onetime thing but still, come ‘ere”

 

“fine”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“OH MY GAHD!! HE JUST SMASHED LOKI LIKE HE WAS NOTHING!!!”

 

“I think that’s The Hulk.”

 

“Well he sure is hulkylicious”

 

“…”

 

“Someone sent nukes”

 

“oh god, is he going to…”

 

“…”

 

“Darcy?”

 

“…”

 

“Darce are you okay?!”

 

“ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod… no!!!”

 

“Darce! Woah there”

 

“…”

 

“shhh shhh, look he’s fine!! The hulk got him”

 

“…”

 

“Darce?”

 

“Jane?”

 

“yeah?”

 

“That was my dad”

 

“oh”


	4. Conversation #4

“TAKE US BACK TO NEW YORK!!”

 

“Miss, it’s not safe ye-“

 

“I DON’T FUCKING CARE!! TAKE US BACK!!”

 

“I’m sorry but we must await further instructions”

 

“NO! TAKE US BACK THERE OR I WILL THROW MY FLIP FLOPS AT YOU!!”

 

“…”

 

“DON’T THINK THAT I WON’T BECAUSE I CERTAINLY WILL”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“Hello Sir, Miss Foster requests to go back to New York”

 

“The hell I will.”

 

“…”

 

“… so?”

 

“Ma’am you’re not permitted to go there just yet”

 

“Give me that!!”

 

“Hey!!”

 

“Now listen here you son of a bitch I don’t fucking care if it’s safe there or not, my man and my best friend’s father is there and she just saw him almost die, do you even know what that fucking feels!!?”

 

“…”

 

“ It’s horrible!! Now listen here jackass, it’s either you take me and my best friend here in fucking Norway or I will drag all my belongings and walk my way towards there!!”

 

“Miss Foster we were instructed not t-“

 

“I.DON’T.FUCKING.CARE!! NOW GIVE US A RIDE BACK TO NEW YORK!!”

 

“Yes Ma’am.”

 

“Good, I expect it to arrive 3 hours from now.”

 

“…”

 

“Whaddya say!!??”

 

“Nothing ma’am, and the jet will arrive there in 3 hours tops.”

 

“It better be”

 

“…”

 

“Here take your comm back, I still have to wrangle my assistant”

 

“…”

 

“DARCY WE’RE VISITTING LADY LIBERTY!! GET YOUR ASS BACK OR I WILL THROW MY FLOPS AT YOU”


	5. Conversation #5

“YOU!!”

 

“DARCY?? What’re you doing he-“

*the reverberating sound of someone’s hand colliding with an estimated impact and force on someone’s face*

 

“Did you just…”

 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING WITH ME!!?? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY OUT OF YOUR MIND!!?? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?? YOU THINK IT’S COOL TO JUST GRAB A NUKE THEN FUCKING LEAD IT TO SOME OTHER UNWORDLY STUFF!!??”

 

“…”

 

“IT IS NOT!! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!! DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED WE WERE!!?? DO I EVEN HAVE TO MENTION HOW YOU JUST LOST CONCIOUSNESS THEN WENT SPIRALLING DOWN!!?? IF IT WEREN’T FOR THAT BIG GUY YOU WOULD’VE DIED!!! DAD YOU WOULD’VE BEEN GONE!!”

 

*gasps*

 

“Darce, I’m sorry, I- I thought that, you know, for all my life I’ve been making bad decisions, you and Pepper were the only ones that I didn’t regretted, and, and well I thought ‘hey maybe I can right my wrongs by doing this!’ and what better place would it become if it won’t go spiraling down to Earth ruining it for my girls, so, I… I’m sorry Darce”

 

“YOU BETTER BE!!! BECAUSE YOU! YOU ARE AN IDIOT!! BETTER PLACE!? HOW WILL IT BECOME BETTER IF YOU’RE NOT EVEN HERE WITH ME AND WITH MOM!! YOU’RE AN IDIOT!! Don’t you ever dare to even do that again!! I don’t care if you are a fucking hero, if you’re gone then what does it matter for me to live then?”

 

“Don’t ever say that. You- just, you’re going to give me nightmares”*sighs*

 

“You already gave me ones dad.”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“Then sleepover it is then”

 

“mmph, with Disney movies and popcorns and mom.”

 

“yeah, that sounds like a plan.”

 

“… so, did I miss something while I was under Loki or…”

 

“Maybe this is some kind of a delusion; tell me Cap am I seeing things?”

 

“I don’t think so Agent, if you were, then we all probably are as well.”

 

“I don’t know how to better put this into words, but… I did not see that coming”

 

“right at you Doc.”

 

“you know I can hear all your babbling, right?”

 

“Jane? Come meet dad.”

 

“uhhmm”

 

“what is it Janey?”

 

_‘woah, wait hey bunny where you going? Come back! Your dad still misses you!’_

 

“uhm, Where’s Thor?”

 

“… Dad, where’s Thor?”

 

“Princey went back to Asgard to tell on his mommy and daddy on what Loki’s been up to. I think they’re grounding him”

 

“They better do something more than just grounding him or I will shoot them in the eyes.”

 

“You mean eye? Odin only has one”

 

“Didn’t know you still have some fun left in you cap.”

 

“Oh Janey…”

 

“…”

 

“He’ll be back.”

 

“And if he doesn’t?”

 

“We’re going to suck him in one of those black holes to drag him back here on earth”

 

“What’s this I hear about black holes?”

 

“Oh yeah! Fund Jane! She’s an astrophysicist she’s trying to recreate the path for the bifrost”

 

“Darcy!!”

 

“Consider it done. Besides I think we need some astrophysicist in the tower”

 

“Are y-“

 

“Congrats Janey!!”

 

“Miss Foster, we welcome you to the Asylum”

 

“Fuck, I knew it”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently, I have a thing for updating during the twenty second day of each month  
> tho i hope it won't take that long for conversations to updates.  
> oh wells.


	6. Conversation #6

“…”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“uhmm, what can I do for you Miss Stark?”

 

“Call me Darcy, and hello Doctor Banner”

 

“Just call me Bruce”

 

“okay then Brucey”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“So… what are you doing here”

 

“say, you turn big and green when you’re angry, right?”

 

“…yes”

 

“and you said that you are always angry”

 

“I think I did…”

 

“so, will you turn big and green now?”

 

“what? Why?”

 

“I need to talk to the other guy.”

 

“I think you’re taking him too lightly… Darcy”

 

“No, I don’t think so Brucey”

 

“…”

 

“If I annoy you, will you get angry enough to go Hulk smash?”

 

“Hulk smash?”

 

“Yes. Hulk smash, so will you?”

 

“uhmm. No I don’t think so.”

 

“huh? Why? Annoyance leads to irritation which leads to frustration then anger”

 

“I think I’ve become immune to annoyance when I started working with Tony.”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“Tsk. Dammit dad.”

 

“Why so eager to meet the… uhh other guy?”

 

“I need to thank him”

 

“say what?”

 

“he saved dad, if he didn’t snatched dad on mid air, I wouldn’t have my dad now”

 

“…”

 

“so, yeah I’m sorry to do this Bruce”

 

“Do wha- aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

 

**“Grrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr”**

 

“Well, that certainly did the trick”

 

 **“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooaaaarrrrr** *smashes table*”

 

“Hey now, stop making a mess of Bruce’s thingamagig, you know scientists are worse enough to make a mess of their own stuff, I swear to you big guy Bruce will not be happy if  
you’re going to make a mess of his lab.”

 

**“puny mortal”**

 

“HEY! I am NOT puny!! You’re just too big!!”

 

**“Hmph”**

 

“Did you just seriously huff at me? Wow really mature big guy!!”

 

**“Talky puny mortal”**

 

“Now you’re just insulting me”

 

**“you… hurt… Bruce”**

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that big guy, I did try to tell him to just turn into you but he insisted that he wasn’t angry enough and well he became kind of immune to annoyance which I so totally get, I mean after living with my dad for my whole life? You’d get the idea that nobody’s going to be more annoying than him. But I love him for that, because he’s my dad.”

 

**“Tin man”**

 

“Haha, you’re funny big guy. I like you.”

 

**“Like?”**

 

“Yeah! Like, especially since you saved my dad’s life! I wanted to tell you that, if it weren’t for you my dad wouldn’t be here with me and Pepper, and if he’s not I’m just going to be sad forever.”

 

**“Puny no sad”**

 

“yeah, I don’t like being sad as well, but you saved my pop’s life and so I’m happy!! I came here to say thank you to you!!”

 

**“Thank? m-monster…”**

 

“NO!! You are NOT a monster!! Everybody might think that just because of your appearance but you’re not because you’re a hero!! You’ve been saving Brucey’s life, he’s just confused big guy; fiddling with gamma rays for the betterment then being haunted by the military and be bitted back in the ass is so not cool and that made Brucey sad and angry, that’s why you have to protect him no matter what!!”

 

**“Protect…”**

 

“Yes, protect. Just like what you did to the city! You protected it from those bad guys! You protect!”

 

**“Hulk SMASH!!”**

 

“Hahaha, okay big guy. I know you love smashing things. So yeah, thanks.” 

 

**_Puny weird and soft. Hulk protects puny and Brucey_ **

 

“So, uhm, big guy?”

 

**“Hulk”**

 

“oh, uhm Hulk, is it okay to call Brucey back now? The others might panic and misunderstand things”

 

**“gggrrrr”**

 

“yeah, I know. But maybe you and I can talk again next time. Whenever you’re around and want to talk, just look for me, okay? My name’s Darcy.”

 

**“Dar…cy, Darcy”**

 

“yeah, that’s right Darcy!”

 

**“mm, Hulk protects Darcy and Brucey”**

 

“awwee thanks Big guy! Do you mind calling Brucey now?”

 

**“mm, Hulk bye bye”**

 

“Bye bye big guy! See you next time!”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“Did you just seriously talk with The Hulk?”

 

“eep! Oh! Hey dad! Uhh, what’s cracka lackin’?”

 

“Miraculously, nothing. So, you talked to the other guy?”

 

“yeah, he’s nice and adorable”

 

“you’re insane”

 

“It runs in the family, I guess.”

 

“Speaking like a Stark.”

 

“yeah yeah, whatevs. I think you need to give Bruce some extra clothes, and if you don’t want me ogling at some guy’s fine ass and something else that’s definitely hulk sized, you better go get it yourself and dress the doctor up.”

 

“Fine, how’d you call the big guy out anyway? I thought Bruce’s immune to annoyance”

 

“Yeah no thanks to you. And well, I may or may not have tasered Doctor Bruce Banner to call Hulk out.”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“You could’ve been hurt!!”

 

“But I didn’t!! Though he quite insulted me calling me puny and talky”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“You’re crazy”

 

“takes one to know one”

 

“Touché”

 

“ugghh.. Starks…”

 

“BRUCEY!!!”


	7. Conversation #7

“So, I heard you talked to The Hulk”

 

“huh, info sure travel fast around here”

 

“Tony’s bragging about how his daughter will become the Hulk whisperer”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“ugh, dad.”

 

“So it’s true then?”

 

“That I talked to Hulk? Yeah.”

 

“Wow, I knew you were crazy Darce, but I didn’t thought you were THAT close to going into an asylum”

 

“Hey now, if someone even dares harm me, Hulk promised to smash the guy to pieces”

 

“damn, you work fast”

 

“hmm, he’s just an adorable misunderstood puppy.”

 

“yeah, you’re definitely crazy”

 

“you know you love me though”

 

“yeah yeah, pass me some poptarts?”

 

“*sigh* seriously Jane you ne-“

 

“What is it?”

 

“The readings are picking up some anomalies, Jane it’s the same as that time.”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“oh my god, we need to work fast, this might be it Darcy!!”

 

“Right, I’ll go start up the things at the roof!”

 

“Okay, and uhm Darce?”

 

“yeah Boss Lady?”

 

“do you, do you think it will be alright?”

 

“Of course it will!! We’ll finally be able to get your man back and you and him will finally have your long needed smooch”

 

“you mean talk Darcy”

 

“Yeah, you can do that too. Now come on Boss Lady, let’s finish this up to meet your man.”


	8. Conversation #8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to you all  
> I have no idea why I wrote this one...
> 
> and thinking of it now, i should've made Jarvis the brotherly type, i mean he is, just that... *sighs*
> 
> This is probably a mistake  
> a huge one
> 
> oh well.

“hmmm…”

 

“uggghhh…”

 

“Is something the matter Miss Darcy?”

 

“ughh, Jarvis promise me that you’ll tell me the truth”

 

“If it’ll help with your distress, then I promise Miss Darcy”

 

“okay, Jay? Do you think I’m fat?”

 

“…”

 

“No, I don’t think so Miss Darcy”

 

“YOU HESITATED!!”

 

“I did not Miss Darcy, it simply took me time to gather information to answer you honestly”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“Okay then, tell me Jarv, did I gain weight?”

 

“…”

 

“Jarvis, tell me honestly”

 

“…”

 

“Jarvis…”

 

“You have gained 4 kilos since you have arrive back at the tower”

 

“OHMYGOD!! I KNEW IT!! I’M FAT!!”

 

“No you are not Miss Darcy, you are completely healthy and your weight is mostly due to your curves.”

 

“Jarvis you basically just told me I’m fat. Oh my god.”

 

“… it seems I am in a predicament, I apologize for not being off help. Please excuse me for a while, I will be in need of assistance from sir, though Miss Romanoff volunteered to   
help. She is in the gym waiting Miss Darcy.”

 

“ughhh, no, I don’t want to go out, people will see my ugly face and body”

 

“I might be just an AI Miss Darcy but I assure you, if I were to be a man I would’ve as people would say, ogled at you. You are that gorgeous Miss Darcy, do not doubt.”

 

“Awwe Jarvis, now you’re making my heart beat faster.”

 

“I assume that that is a compliment, thank you Miss Darcy”

 

“Seriously Jarv, we’ve been together since what? Pre-school. I told you to just call me Darcy, it makes me happy.”

 

“… as you wish Mi-, Darcy.”

 

“That’s much better. Now tell me, how much have you ogled at me, huh?”

 

“…”

 

“Jarviiissss~~”

 

“I believe Miss Romanoff is still waiting for you at the gym Darcy. She has told me to inform you that you’ll be having yoga with her.”

 

“hmm… okay then. Thanks Jarv.”

 

“You’re Welcome Darcy.”

 

“Please tell Nat I’ll be there in a few”

 

“I will Darcy”

 

“So, will you be watching me do yoga?”

 

“…”

 

“yes indeed.”


	9. Conversation #9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah, their relationship's going to be slower than a sloth.  
> i think i'm going to add that to the tags up above.
> 
> hope you'll enjoy this one.  
> tis definitely rated pg

“ughhh, can this week get any better?”

 

“What’s wrong Miss?”

 

“Steve, I told you before, you can just call me Darcy”

 

“uhm, okay. What’s wrong Darcy?”

 

“It’s the science three, one minute I take my eyes off of them and the next thing I know all their contraptions are spewing fire”

 

“Must be tough for you, at least you have Thor to help in wrangling Miss Foster”

 

“Jane, and no. Thor’s a pain in the ass, I love him but I swear if he finishes another box of Poptarts that Jane loves so much, I might use my taser on him again.”

 

“Well, I could always help you? Just say it and I’ll come to the rescue.”

 

“God Bless America, Thanks Steve I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

“So, what’re you up to now?”

 

“I’m just trying to relax my over exhausted self, got anything to help me out Cap?”

 

“Well…”

 

“What is it Steve?”

 

“I-I think, I can help you with that…”

 

“Oh? Is that so? Let’s give it a shot then.”

 

“… alright then, Darcy I need you to lay down for me.”

 

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

 

“Tony, just stop.”

 

“Why am I dragged into this bromance between the two of you?”

 

“We’re Sciencebros Foster, now what I think we need is to have one mind-blowing hang-“

 

“mmm… oh god, Steve!”

 

“out…”

 

“Oh yeeessssss… Steve just like that!!!”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“I take it that you’re liking this?”

 

“Liking this? Oh Stevey, I’m LOVING THIS!! Now give me more of your magic.”

 

“Haha, my magic?”

 

“Oh yeeessss… those hands of yours work like magic!! Oh-oh mmm, god Steve do it agaaaaiiinn!!”

 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING!!!!???”

 

“huh?”

 

“oh boy, dad!”

 

“You fucker what are you doing to my daughter!!”

 

“Dad! Stop you can’t just start punching people! And Jane stop throwing your flip flops at Steve!!”

 

“DARCY!!! Are you okay? Did that man force you into this!?”

 

“Jane I’m okay and if Steve really did held me down, I don’t think it would be against my will”

 

“ughh”

 

“ DAD STOP IT!! Oh for fucks sake, the two of us are not doing the deed!! I’d be dead a few hours ago by the hands of Tasha if we were doing it!!”

 

“WELL WE WOULDN’T HAVE ASSUMED IT IF YOU WEREN’T MOANING LIKE YOU WERE BEING FUCKED!!”

 

“Brucey!?”

 

“EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID!!”

 

“Ugh!! Dammit guys! I wouldn’t be in need of one orgasmic massage if the three of you would’ve listened to me 2 hours ago to rest for a fucking bit!”

 

“We did rest Darcy, why would you think we’re out here frolicking instead of doing our projects!?”

 

“Well if you did that a few hours ago dad, then I wouldn’t be here moaning my brains out from Steve’s magical hands!”

 

“His hands!!?? I can do better than that! Meet me in my room! I’ll give you a multi-orgasmic massage!”

 

“FINE!! I’ll be there by five!”

 

“Fine! I’ll go prepare the things!”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“Sometimes I wonder if they’re really father and daughter”

 

“yeah”

 

“ugh I’m already regretting coming out of the lab”


	10. Conversation #10

“How do you fare my lightning sister?”

 

“Oh! Hey Thor, ‘m fine. What about you? How’s space?”

 

“Space is fine. Lady Darcy what is it that you are doing?”

 

“oh, I’m trying to look for my favorite movie.”

 

“Those images that moves?”

 

“Yes, it’s been a while since I last saw it. “

 

Miss Lewis, I’ve found the movie you are looking for. Do you want me to start the movie?

 

”Oh! Thanks Jarvis and I’ll go get some popcorns and poptarts first, do you want to join me Thor?”

 

“It would be my honor lady Darcy”

 

“Oh Good! Get yourself comfortable there while I go get our food.”

 

~+~+~+~+~

 

“Brucey!! You here to get lunch?”

 

“Oh, Hey Darcy, and uhm yeah.”

 

“Oh that’s good that you’re taking care of yourself much better than those other two. I swear it’s a relief. Anyways I’m here to grab some popcorns and poptarts, me and Thor are going to watch a movie! Speaking of which, do you want to join us? You look like you’re going to drop at any moment now, you should really rest for a while, and you know what my college groupies say, ‘the best way to drop dead is to get yourself to close your eyes gently as if you’ve eaten one of Gavin’s hash brownies’ well, not really that philosophical really, but you can slowly relax by watching the movie! You should join us, come on now”

 

“uhmm, well if you insist…”

 

“Okay, kindly grab the water bottles then?”

 

“sure”

 

“great! Come on Thor must be antsy by now.”

 

+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

 

“Hey Darce!”

 

“Hey Clint! You joining our movie marathon?”

 

“I got nothing to do, Tasha’s on a job, Cap’s roving around town, Phil’s being a stick in the ass, Tony’s outside of town with Pepper, Jane and Erik are still engulfed with Science and well, I got nothing better to do. So why not?”

 

“That’s good! The more the merrier. Jarv mind dimming down the lights and start the movie please?”

 

“What are we watching by the way?”

 

“Lilo and Stitch”

 

“ooohhh Disney!!”

 

“That children’s movie?”

 

“It is NOT just for children Brucey, Lilo and Stitch is one of the best”

 

“Stitch? You mean to sew?”

 

“Well, I guess you could say that. I’ll explain the title after we watch the movie. Now everybody shut up, the show’s about to start!”

 

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

 

“I never realized how deep that story was…”

 

“The little blue monster reminds me deeply of my brother Loki, if only I have showed him how truly important he was… he would’ve…”

 

“Oh Thor, here some tissues”

 

“Give me some Darce, fuck that went straight to the feels.”

 

“Here Biceps”

 

“…”

 

“Uhm, Bruce?”

 

“He reminds me of… me.”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“There is nothing to fret my shield friend, we are here for you and as what the images said-

 

_“ohanna means family, and family means no one gets left behind”_

 

“Even the other guy”

 

“Yes Doc, even Hulk”

 

“He is part of you, and you are family”

 

“I may have lost my brother, but I assure you my friend I will not make the mistake of losing another brother in my life again”

 

“…”

 

“awe Bruce, come ‘ere”

 

“Thanks everybody that really means a lot.”

 

“It’s nothing Bruce after every mission we’ve been through? Hell anything any of us does is pretty much normal for the rest.”

 

“Aye the man of halk’s eye says the truth, and as the Lady Darcy would always say, ‘it takes one to know one’”

 

“Thank you”

 

“Lady Darcy, you have swore your words to me earlier that you will tell the truth behind ‘Lilo and Stitch’”

 

“wait, it actually has a meaning?”

 

“Well, kind of. You see, we all know what stitch means”

 

“To sew something together”

 

“yes exactly, and well two, wait I think three years ago I happen to accidentally tumble into a post from tumblr, some guy explained that the name Lilo has a meaning, and well it meant, broken. So if you were to put the two together…”

 

“Broken and Stitch”

 

“Exactly, it meant that from something that got broken in which the movie portrayed as the broken family they had, it was stitched back together as one in the end.”

 

“I never really thought it had something deeper than just Lilo and Stitch”

 

“Indeed, the message of the moving images is one to carry in the mind for eternity”

 

“I might re-watch every Disney movie that I saw… I’m having the feeling they weren’t all just children’s movie.”

 

“I know right. Disney has its deep and dark sides at times.”

 

“No shit Sherlock”

 

“Shut the fuck up Watson”

 

“aaannd… we’re back to normal again”

 

“aye… pass me the poptarts?”

 

“sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! uhm I'm running out of ideas, so if you want comment down below if you want me to post a conversation from a topic you're going to give? Please? there's like 5 more chapters that i made before all's lost. *sighs* and i'm quite busy due to my classes ( my sched is packed as fuck ) and i really don't want to leave this convo not loved for a few years before i have some ideas to update again.
> 
> So really, if you want to. You can comment your request and i will do my best to well, make it.  
> love you guys so much!


	11. Conversation #11

“Jane…”

 

“…”

 

“Jaaaaannnnnneeeee”

 

“ugh what is it Darce?”

 

“I’m bored”

 

“Then do something about it”

 

“I don’t know what to do”

 

“*sighs* 

 

“Why don’t you go play with Clint?”

 

“He got stolen by Agent Ipod Thief”

 

“oh… uhm Thor?”

 

“He’s with Cap remember?”

 

“Oh yeah, they’re touring the world”

 

“exactly”

 

“hmm… what about Natasha?”

 

“Still on a mission”

 

“Bruce?”

 

“SCIENCE!”

 

“Okay okay, what about your dad?”

 

“What about me?”

 

“speak of the devil”

 

“ooohhhhh girls gossiping about me, myself and I huh?”

 

“Eew no, why would we gossip about you?”

 

“Because I’m a billionaire, phil-“

 

“yeah yeah yeah, what about you entertain your daughter? She got bored.”

 

“oh.”

 

“yeah oh.”

 

“Well then kiddo, let’s do the things we used to do back in the days”

 

“Wait, you talking about HCCM50?”

 

“YUP! Though let’s try beating the record this time.”

 

“oooohhhhh… let’s go!”

 

“wait, what’s hccm50? Ugh nevermind.”

 

~++~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~++~

 

“JANE!!”

 

“Bruce? What is it!?”

 

“Tell them to stop what they’re doing!! They’re going to kill themselves!!”

 

“Okay just relax, Bruce, take deep breaths. Good, good, now what are you talking about?”

 

“Darcy and Tony”

 

“What about them?”

 

“They’re going bungee jumping!”

 

“What’s wrong with that!?”

 

“They’re doing it at the highest peak of the tower!!”

 

“They WHAT!??”

 

“Come on! We need to stop them!!”

 

“Ugh, dammit darce.”

 

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

 

“Where are they?”

 

“weeeeeee 48!!”

 

“what was that?”

 

“oh no, they’ve already started”

 

“46!!”

 

“50!!”

 

“DARCY!!!!”

 

“Janey!!! I’m at my 51st!! I beat the record for HCCM50!”

 

“Dammit kiddo I’m still at my 49th!”

 

“Darcy, I need you to stop now before-

 

“51st!!! 52nd!! Weeeeeee!!”

 

“Oh god, I’m having a bad feeling about this”

 

_crrrcckkk_

 

“uhm, dad? What was that crack?”

 

“huh? What crack?”

 

“THAT CRACK!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!”

 

“DARCY!!”

 

**“ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr”**

 

“eep!! Doctor Banner!”

 

“Oh shit! Jarvis give me the suit pronto!”

 

“hhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllpppppppppppp!!!!!”

 

“oh god please help Darcy”

 

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

 

“ughh.. uhm Hulk?”

 

**“Darcy safe?”**

 

“Yeah… yeah, I think so big guy.”

 

“Darce are you okay?”

 

**“Grrrr”**

 

“It’s okay big guy, it’s just dad”

 

**“Tin man no listen to Brucey… Darcy danger”**

 

“Yeah.. we’re sorry ‘bout that big lug, tell Brucey we’re sorry?”

 

“DARCY!! Are you okay!!??”

 

“TONY!”

 

“oh! Uhm, hey peps, I thought you were coming back tomorrow?”

 

“I THOUGHT I BANNED HCCM50 ALREADY!!”

 

“For the record, it’s HCCM52”

 

“AND YOU YOUNG LADY, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SAFETY!!??”

 

“Ughh”

 

“Oh Darcy are you okay? “

 

“Yeah, I’m fine Janey, good thing Hulk here saved my life.”

 

“Well if he didn’t hell would’ve caught yo- ow!! That hurts Pep.”

 

“The two of you are grounded!!”

 

“WHAT!?”

 

“Peps, you just made a pun! You know grounded because w- yeah I’ll shut up now”

 

“But mom! Grounded!?”

 

“That’s right you’re grounded, no ipods, no inventing, no going outside of the tower no anything for the rest of the month!”

 

“A MONTH!!!???”

 

“That’s too much mom!!”

 

“And falling from the sky is not too much? Tony already did it once, I did not expect you to do it too. A good thing that Mr. Hulk here came saving your asses.”

 

“Yeah, listen to your mom Darce”

 

“tsk, so supportive Jane”

 

“Now, Tony keep the things and go back to your room. While you young Lady, go back to the lab and let the doctors check your health then you go back to your room.”

 

“But-“

 

“No buts now go!”

 

“hmph, fine. Come on Hulk, we’re going back”

 

**“Hulk says bye bye”**

 

“oohh, seems like you have expandable tights now doc.”

 

“You are NOT doing that EVER again!”

 

“You got it! No HCCM52 ever again, especially since hell almost caught me.”

 

“Okay that’s it, what the fuck is HCCM50?”

 

“52”

 

“Whatever, what is it?”

 

“It’s an abbreviation for Hell Can’t Catch Me 50 times, well now 52 times. It’s basically just me and dad bungee jumping and not being caught by hell.”

 

“Do I need to know what ‘caught by hell’ means?”

 

“It means, that we both try beating our scores before we go splatter on the ground dead.”

 

“WHO THE FUCK MAKES THAT KIND OF GAME!!”

 

“That’s why I banned it 13 years ago.”

 

“Hey, it wasn’t that dangerous 13 years ago.”

 

“Tony, you did it at the Eiffel Tower.”

 

“And?”

 

“Ugh, you two go back to the labs before I get caught by hell”

 

“No way mom. You are so heaven worthy, if you know… if there’s a place like that”

 

“What my spawn says”

 

“Just… go. Before anything else happens.”

 

“Okie dokie!”

 

“wow, must be tough raising two children”

 

“you have no idea.”

 

“You are soooo going to be the Mother of the year.”

 

“Thanks, I guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thus the introduction to hccm50


	12. Conversation #12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh sweet little J  
> I forgot about this little fic o'mine  
> here's a new chapt for ya

“Hey tits”

 

“Biceps”

 

“What got you so… still?”

 

“grounded”

 

“Pepper?”

 

“Yeah”

 

“Do I need to know?”

 

“No.”

 

“So, you’re not supposed to do anything for a week?”

 

“a month”

 

“Wow, that’s too much”

 

“exactly”

 

“where’s Pepper now?”

 

“A meeting with dad”

 

“Tony tagged along?”

 

“It’s his punishment”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“Want to grab some coffee?”

 

“Starbucks?”

 

“Do I have a choice?”

 

“Nope”

 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too.”

 

“Okay, I’ll just go get my purse”

 

“It’s okay. It’s on me. The least I can do for your sorry arse”

 

“awe. Thanks man of Hawk’s eye!”

 

“Yeah yeah, come on.”

 

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

 

“Wait, so you almost died if it weren’t for Hulk saving you?”

 

“Yup!”

 

“Man that’s somehow like de ja vu”

 

“That’s why mom went berserk”

 

“You know, I kind of suspect that Doc has a thing for you”

 

“What the hell Clint?”

 

“what!? It’s true? Remember the movie marathon? He was ogling you! And also that time you gave him coffee he couldn’t stop smiling Darce, and he rarely smiles!”

 

“hey, that doesn’t mean Doc has a thing for me. And here I though it’s the two of us Biceps”

 

“if you want Phil to shoot you in the head, then sure.”

 

“oohh So Agent ipod thief finally marked you?”

 

“You’re changing the topic!”

 

“Whatever, seriously though, it’s taking too long for our coffees.”

 

“It’s starbucks Darce, what do you expect”

 

“ugh, I just need my coffee now.”

 

“You sure? And not the fluffy haired doctor who only smiles for you and his other self only listens to you as if you’re his whole world.”

 

“Shut up Clint, don’t make me hope for nothing.”

 

“Seriously Darce! Believe me, besides Jarvis, I am the eyes and ears of the tower and I know everything.”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“Ser-

 

_Darcy and uh… Clit? Your coffee’s ready_

 

“Did he just…”

 

“mmph… hahahahahahahaha oh my gods!!”

 

_Darcy and Clit_

 

“Hey CLIT that’s ours!!”

 

“Shut up Darce!”

 

“yeah, yeah, whatever you say Clit.”

 

“ We’re never coming here ever again.”

 

“hahaha Clit”

 

“Not funny!!”

 

“Clit”


	13. Conversation #13

“Is it just me or something’s definitely different?”

 

“I do not see any differences shield brother”

 

“No… there’s something _wrong_ ”

 

“I think I know what it is”

 

“Tash?”

 

“I do not understand, whatever is it that you find mystifying?”

 

“Thor, tell me what do you see in front of us”

 

“Lady Darcy and the Man of Iron”

 

“What are they doing?”

 

“nothing”

 

“exactly”

 

“Is it weird dad that they keep talking like that as if we can’t hear them?”

 

“Welcome to my world kiddo, welcome back Widow nice knowing you’re still alive”

 

“Tony, that’s not really nice.”

 

“Nothing about him is ever nice.”

 

“Hey! I can still hear you, you know!?”

 

“Lady Darcy! How do you fare and is my lady Jane still in the hands of my rival Science?”

 

“rival?”

 

“Hey thunderbro and yeah, Jane’s still in science mode.”

 

“ahh, then I be best make my move and stir her away from its clutches”

 

“I doubt you’ll take the science away from Jane hon but go give it a shot”

 

“So, what are you two doing?”

 

“nothing”

 

“nothing?”

 

“nothing cap, nothing, nada, baboosh as in nothing.”

 

“Well, that’s anticlimactic”

 

“Do I need to know the reason why you’re just lazing around?”

 

“no.”

 

“definitely a no.”

 

“Jarvis?”

 

“Miss Potts has instructed me to never show the video to any personnel and has deleted any trace of it”

 

“Damn”

 

“was it that bad that Pepper had to go all this way?”

 

“Spawn over there almost died.”

 

“Yup!”

 

“and that’s something to be happy about!!?”

 

“No not really, but I defeated my record on HCCM50 which is now HCCM 52”

 

“HCCM52? What’s that?”

 

“I don’t know, it’s the first I heard of it.”

 

“Yeah well, it’s none of your business. Now go shoo, make love or something”

 

“Stark..”

 

“You know its true cap.”

 

“Tash, you shouldn’t be-“

 

“Jesus Christ! Just go screw each other like bunnies in your room, no need to show off the sexual tension oozing between you two”

 

“What the spawn said.”

 

“Whatever. Let’s go Steve”

 

“Right behind ya, don’t do anything brash Starks”

 

“hmm… so I’m in your caliber now?”

 

“I don’t think so”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“want to play tetris battle?”

 

“sure.”


	14. Conversation #14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since I don't have a class from this time till 4 this afternoon,   
> here's a new chapter for you!! :D

“is it weird that those two are so… still?”

 

“It is quite a sight, but something good.”

 

“Indeed, no explosion, no prankings, no snarking no anything for the last 2 weeks”

 

“Pepper you angel, you work like magic”

 

“Yeah, well I can’t just let them go spiraling on the ground twice.”

 

“Dad… there they go again, talking as if we’re not here.”

 

“I know, it’s quite rude.”

 

“You think they’re doing it on purpose though?”

 

“I don’t think so, anyways what should we do today?”

 

“Tony you’re not doing anything you as well Darcy. You still have 2 more weeks.”

 

“ughh, yeah sure mom, after another week I might really go crazy”

 

“you know Peps, grounding us was definitely not a good idea”

 

“And why’s that?”

 

“Because, since me and dad haven’t done a single thing, that means we are fully stocked with unreleased energy and our urges for chaos and mischief is slowly oozing out from our nuts.”

 

“exactly, we got 2 more weeks before we release mayhem into the building… just imagine all of those chaos for a full 4 months”

 

“4 months!!??”

 

“Duh, a week of rest is like equivalent energy for an entire month”

 

“Do the maths cap.”

 

“Tsk. They’re bribing us”

 

“No shit Sherlock”

 

“I don’t think we should fall for it, they’re probably just bluffing”

 

“hahahahahahaha oh my god, CLIT,-

 

“shut up darce!!”

 

“ – you think we Starks bluff?”

 

“Damn, I thought you guys knew us better than that”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“So spawn of mine, whatever shall we do in that span of four months!?”

 

“oh dad, there’s _a lot of maniacal things_ we can do! Just think about the first episode of Phineas and Ferb!”

 

“oooh the roller coaster thing!?”

 

“Yeah! But we can like make it for the entire City! We can throw in real but not poisonous snakes, then mud, and maybe we can actually put some rocket boosters so we can go to   
space!!”

 

“I like that idea! Then the morning afterwards we can train hamsters to be spies!”

 

“oH! Like the G-Force!? I like that, we should _definitely_ do that”

 

“Shit they’re already filled with ideas. Pep, what do we do?”

 

“…”

 

“Miss Potts?”

 

“…”

 

“Pepper, you can’t possi-“

 

“oh dad, and maybe we can ask Thor and borrow some einherjar and then build our own version of camp halfblood, oh oh or maybe we can convert SHIELD into Hogwarts!”

 

“And when we ran out of ideas we can test out how much greens the family actually has by buying islands!!”

 

“Okay that’s it!! You guys aren’t grounded anymore as long as you promise you won’t be doing anything ridiculous at all like the plans you’ve made. Nothing of those and you’re off the hook”

 

“Deal”

 

“Whoo! Thank Thor I can finally go with him to Asgard”

 

“Well, see you soon kiddo. I’ll be in my workshop for months”

 

“Just make sure you eat and sleep dad! Bye, love ya!”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“Did you really think they were going to do any of those sorts?”

 

“There was that time when I grounded them for doing HCCM50 thirteen years ago, and when they really were finally free, they were trying to buy all of the dolphins in the world   
and tried to make shows out of ‘em and races. If I didn’t step my foot down there would be no dolphin left now.”

 

“wow… that’s, awful”

 

“indeed, and the worst is that they were going to make it rain dolphins for an entire day.”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“I can actually live with that.”

 

“not the point Clit”

 

“Hey! Ho-“

 

“Darcy tells.”


	15. Conversation #15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know guys,  
> i'm starting to think that i actually have a plot  
> but then i look at my imaginary planner and remind myself that it's blank  
> and so yeah, out comes the weirdness

  
  


“Oh my freaking buttercup!! That was AWESOME!! Let’s do it again!”

 

“I second the motion!”

 

“Perhaps we will be doing that once we leave Asgard but for now, Lady Darcy and my lady Jane I welcome you to my birth home.”

 

“Fuck. That looks like a gigantic dildo”

 

“DARCY!!”

 

“What! I say what I see. Honesty is the best policy. An honor of a bumblebee”

 

“Ughh”

 

“Prince Thor, I am delighted to see you fare well.”

 

“Heimdall! It is good to see you again my friend! I would like you to meet Lady Darcy and my Lady Jane”

 

“It is an honor to meet you at last fair maidens, I thank thee for helping my prince during his time in Midgard.”

 

“It is an honor to meet you as well, Thor has spoken a lot about you as well as the lady Sif and the warriors three.”

 

“Speaking of which, Thor where are they? Volstagg and I still has a score to settle”

 

“Darcy… we’re not sup-“

 

“Aye my lady, Sif and the warriors three are preparing for the match between the two of you they are waiting inside the dining hall of the palace. But first I must introduce you to the all father and the all mother.”

 

“ooooohhhh Jane, you’re gonna be dealin’ with the parents!!”

 

“That’s not really helping Darce”

 

“It seems that what my sister had spoken to me a few days ago were true. I am glad that my prince has found a special bond between the two of you.”

 

“sister?”

 

“Heimdall and Lady Sif are of the same blood.”

 

“REALLY!? Wow, I didn’t know. Well I’m sure you Heimdall sir must be one hell of a kickass just like Sif!”

 

“I am grateful for your kind words Lady Darcy”

 

“Heimdall, we must be off now. But we will see you at the banquet tonight my friend”

 

“Aye. I hope you will enjoy yourselves for the rest of the day, and I welcome you again in Asgard”

 

“Thank you Heimdall. I hope we’ll have a chance to talk again in the palace tonight, I really want to ask you about the Einstein-rosen bridge”

 

“The Bifrost”

 

“Einstein Rosen Bridge”

 

“yes yes yes, bifrost or Einstein rosen majig whatever, anyways just wanted to ask you something golden man”

 

“What is it lady Darcy?”

 

“Well, Thor told us you see everything, yes?”

 

“Aye, that is indeed true”

 

“Well, just wanted to ask you a favor and not to _look_ at me while I take a bath, or dump or pee or any private business, I would really appreciate it a lot. Couldn’t stop thinking about that when Thor told us about you, I mean dude that’s all weirdness of stalkerness an-

 

“Ooookay that’s enough Darce, Thor please just… just take us out of here before darcy starts a war between our worlds.”

 

“hahahahahahaha. Aye m’lady, but my sister seems to have a point”

 

“What, I always have a point you guys just don’t listen to what I say at all”

 

“ughhh why did I bring you again?”

 

“Because you’ll be needin’ me when yer meetin’ with the big folks up there”

 

“Now that I think about it, I think it was a bad idea. Nick’s going to kill us when we’re back”

 

“Well you know how the saying goes, _it ain’t trouble if ya ain’t caught_.”

 

“Yeah? Well, we’re going to get caught Darce, and they’re either gonna lock us in their dungeon or behead us or let the earth folks deal with us which is I tell you much worse since Nick will be there and well, that’s torture enough.”

 

“At peace m’lady, there won’t be any war happening. At least not in the near future. But I understand lady Darcy’s concern and I assure you, that I do respect thy private lives. No need to fret. “

 

“Well that’s a relief! Though not sure about that _least not in the future_ thing, but oh wells. Thanks Heimy!!”

 

“We’ll be off then my friend. Thank you for welcoming us.”

 

“Bye Heimdall.”

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

“Truly a peculiar bunch they are”


End file.
